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Üqoi employs different forms of "is" and "was" depending on whether the subject is sentient (zhoonai), animal (vuuzet), or thing (pus'q'abi). Examples:

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Vlohuu dhmuuzhoonai. = He is a father.
Tsequo dhuuvuuzet. = It is a bird.
Dlöömeq dhuupus'q'abi. = It is a cup.

Vlohuu kthaazhoonai. = He was a father.
Tsequo kaavuuzet. = It was a bird.
Dlöömeq kaapus'q'abi. = It was a cup.

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Tungsten

TUNGSTEN

This is how the scam goes down: we pose as father and daughter, and we go to a king, "Dad" offers my hand to the king in marriage, and what seals the deal is that I turn straw into gold.

Now the king, being a tyrant, naturally, tells us that if I can't do the trick, off goes my head. Before I go any further, I should disclose that I don't turn straw into gold;

I turn it into tungsten, then I cover it in gold spray paint. The king, being greedy and stupid, thinks it's the real thing. It's only later that we tell him what it is, and then phase 2 begins.

When the king realizes he's been duped, does he have us executed? Not when we tell him that in the event of our deaths, our partner Rumpy will spill everything to the press, unless:

Unless he makes "Dad" Minister of Commerce, and me the Minister of the Treasury. So the king, being a coward, and a tyrant, orders all the tungsten melted down into coins.

I do mean all the tungsten. That's why the king decreed that all the lightbulbs in the kingdom will be confiscated. Since we don't want his subjects to know the true motive,

the king revives the old-time religion, and says that lightbulbs displease the earth goddess, and that we must go back to the old ways, and soon the only lighting allowed is from candles.

When candle making becomes too expensive because of the currency being degraded, we'll have all the candle makers thrown in jail for price-fixing, as an example to other

merchants, especially the tea growers party, who have been trying to expose our scam. Our friend Rumpy, the new minister of information, is in charge of

organizing the populace against anyone who challenges our economic
policies, as many as we can bribe or blackmail to get them to show up and rage for fifteen minutes or so.

If that fails, then we'll just have to set fire to the royal palace,-sorry, king!- and blame it on Transcaucasia, fake evidence to show the tea growers to be in collusion, then have them

hanged in a public square. Once they're taken care of, we'll turn on our supporters, in case there are any more subversive elements-oops, a pun!- we can't buy off with tungsten.

© 2012 Bruce V. Bracken

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Experiment Box

Experiment Box
 
 This is an experiment.
Do not tell your parents.
The degree of injury
will determine your grade.
The first test is endurance
of internal bleeding.
We will learn about limits 
of a human organ.

The degree of injury
will determine your grade.
There are many words for love
in the blood's dialect.We will learn about limits
of a human organ.
No whistleblowing, children.
Use your indoor scream, please.

There are many words for love
in the blood's dialect.
Let's look at the speech center,
see how it loves the wires.
No whistleblowing, children.
Use your indoor scream, please.
Thinking is a bad circuit;
that is why we break it.

Let's look at the speech center,
see how it loves the wires.
You've been using them all wrong,
powering devices.
Thinking is a bad circuit;
that is why we break it.
Make the body electric,
a human prison chair.

You've been using them all wrong,
powering devices.
Don't trust the city streetlight
for illumination.
Make the body electric,
a human prison chair.
This new test is resistance
in the sponge of your brain.

Don't trust the city streetlight
for illumination.
Trust in a union of wires
to stimulate muscles.
This new test is resistance
in the sponge of your brain.
In the dialect of sweat,
there's no word for thinking.
 
Copyright ©2011 Bruce V. Bracken
 

Dear Ventriloquist

 Dear ventriloquist,there's no hole in my back.
Please remove your hand, and keep it to yourself.
You can't assign me to your ménagerie.
Don't dialect my mouth, I have my own tongue.

Dear ventriloquist, you are not my wheelchair.
Stop presuming that you know better how to
organize my muscles than I am able.
You're just using me for a crutch, anyway.

Dear ventriloquist, please don't leave your soapbox
in the middle of the sidewalk for me to
trip over on my way to work. I broke my
toe last time, and you're lucky I didn't sue.

Dear ventriloquist, I'm not a poster boy,
so stop headlining me in your old gray lies.
I've seen how your coalitions are powered;
your hands are dirty from handling those fossils.

Dear ventriloquist, I am not a pack mule
for your manufactured solidarity.
I am not a cardboard cut-out talisman
for you to passion play into court rulings.

Dear ventriloquist, I'm paid ten bucks an hour,
selling the most ancient modern sacrament,
to help my people to reach the promised sale-
don't sneer! We are too holy to be reduced.

Dear ventriloquist, we are not unconscious;
we are ignoring you while we're on the phone,
deciding our own political discourse.
Don't mock! We will always be too pure for you.

Dear ventriloquist, you only urge us to
question our "assumptions" when it's you writing
the questions, but we know bullshit when we smell
it, and here we are, a nation of callers.

Dear ventriloquist, I can see your lips move,
while us bourgeois pass you by to want, buy, have. 
All that class warfare must give you quite a thirst. 
Go buy yourself a cold bottle of water.

Copyright © 2011 Bruce V. Bracken

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Fossefox!

  1. Banging your head against Fossefox uses 150 calories an hour.
  2. In the Spanish edition of Cluedo, Fossefox is the victim!
  3. The word 'samba' means 'to rub Fossefox'.
  4. Fossefox can be very poisonous if injected intravenously.
  5. Fossefox was first grown in America by the grandmother Maria Ann Smith, from whom her name comes!
  6. Fossefox will give a higher yield if milked when listening to music!
  7. The first domain name ever registered was Fossefox.com.
  8. Reindeer like to eat Fossefox.
  9. The deepest part of Fossefox is over 35,000 feet deep.
  10. While performing her duties as queen, Cleopatra sometimes dressed up as Fossefox!
I am interested in - do tell me about

Donkey Truck

I am your god, but call me donkey truck.
I'll worship your poverty, and you can worship
my concern, 'cause we feel your pain,
like a Bangkok rent boy, we and all the
rent-seeking starfuckers who yellow sheets,
then wear themlike patrician robes,
re-classifying them as journalism and truth.

I am your god, but call me donkey truck.
Run after me, clamor for my stash of loot.
See if I stop before you stumble in worship.
I'll stick my head out the window, so I can
tell you who to blame for your empty lot.
I'll worship your degradation, and you'll worship
my promise of a golden goose in every pot,
and a non-stop/non-start urban green pan.

I am your god, but call me donkey truck.

I am your god, but call me donkey truck,

 Copyright © 2011 Bruce V. Bracken
 

Apr. 7th, 2011

She said don't play that album anymore, so I switched to digital.

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Oops, my bad :(

Sorry about accidentally posting my poem to the communities that have nothing to do with poetry, or the form I was using.

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3 of 30

Sew it up - you're dragging your dress again.
Cinch it up - it's falling apart in the wrong places.
Draw it up - make your intentions plain.
Dry it up - martyrs have no production values.
Tear it up- they could never hold you to it.
Soak it up - you're a paper tiger now.
Live it up - somebody will buy it.
Shake it up - it's anybody's paradigm for the next 15 minutes.
Talk it up - TelePrompTers are cheap.
Lift it up - it's walking too fast for you to stand.
Even it up - it's too precious for them to keep.

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